To Grow You Must Suffer

"To Grow You Must Suffer: I'm not talking about needless suffering or victimhood. I'm referring to the conscious choice to step out of your comfort zone, to challenge your existing beliefs and behaviors, and to embrace the discomfort that comes with change."

~ Dr. Joe Despenza 

Change and growth are inevitable. 

And it seems like these days we're experiencing them at an exponential rate! 

Can you feel it? How's it been for you? 

Our souls, spirits, the Universe (whatever you believe in) are all demanding we grow - individually and collectively! 

There's always room for growth and change. And how we view that process of change impacts the quality of our journey and experiences throughout our lives. 

A beautiful, wise woman once said, 

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” ~ Helen Keller

Helen lost her sight and hearing at 19 months old and couldn't speak until about age 7 when she learned sign language. Later she became a disability rights advocate, political activist, author, and lecturer. 

Life is hard. 

And that's okay! We always have a choice of making meaning out of our suffering. Of course if there's a way to alleviate needless suffering, that is the right thing to do. However, what we are talking about here is suffering that is inherent in the process of transformation. 

It's our ability to consciously choose to embrace discomfort, pain, inconvenience, frustration that comes with challenging and changing our deeply ingrained habits, beliefs, attitudes, and ways of thinking and being. 

This requires us to look in the mirror. 

And that's often a little bit of an unpleasant task. Because it means we are going to see things about ourselves that we do not like, and want to change. We're always a work in progress and that's perfectly fine. 

That said, there's still deep suffering involved in the caterpillar going into a cocoon and coming out the other end a beautiful butterfly that can take flight. So it is with the unfolding of our souls. 

This is the metamorphosis of who we are and who we are becoming. So, how do we go through that process with as much grace as possible? 

Well, it's not always pretty lol 

It's okay to have some freak out moments, but don't unpack there and pitch a tent. Have your moment and keep going! If you fall off the wagon, pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and keep going. 

Embracing change means accepting that life is sometimes hard. Change is hard. (Can we please teach the new generation this!) They seem to have paper thin skin and no tolerance for any type of hardship or challenge. Of course when they go to the mental health system they're diagnosed, labelled, and medicated. 

We pathologize normal rites and passage and human experiences. 

I digress...

But seriously, we need to have a certain level of understanding that we are here on "a daring adventure." And we are the star of our own movie/masterpiece. What makes for an interesting story in a movie is the same as what would make an interesting adventure for our own lives. 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. The bigger the challenges we face the bigger the reward. We can use our suffering to fuel our growth or we can become a victim of our circumstances. 

In every moment, that's always the choice. 

I've included a clip from a recent episode of our podcast about this. I would love for you to take a look and share your thoughts and comments with me. 

I am in the process of getting a new website designed and have also switched to a new newsletter platform. Please bear with me as I get these things organized. It's a bit of a learning curve but I will share it with you when it is complete. 

One of my teachers says, change is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.

We spend most of our time in the messy middle. 

And if you stick with it, then you'll get the reward. In the end the journey itself is the reward. It's the opportunity for adventure that's the real gift of life. The ups and downs, the pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow - all of that is what paints the masterpiece. All of it! Every bit of it!

Life is truly a beautiful gift!

And on that lovely note, until next time, we continue in solidarity. 

Neseret Bemient, BScN
Holistic Mental Health Coach 
Website: Return to Wholeness Healing Services
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@NeseretBemient
Twitter(X): Neseret Bemient (@JourneyofHope4U)

BIG DREAMS

...start inside
...take courage
...involve effort
...include mistakes
...build character
...are achievable

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~