"Mistakes, Rejection, and Failure"

“Failure is reserved only for those who exercise their potential.” ~ Anon

Dear friend,

As the year comes to a close, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves contemplating and reviewing the events that have transpired in our lives.

It’s a good practice to look back and appreciate the success, joys, wins as well to look at what we consider mistakes, losses, and failure. That said, it’s easy enough to reflect on what went well, but the challenge is often to look at what didn’t go well with compassion and in a way that’s constructive.

In this letter, I want to share with you a few ideas that might change your perspective in how you view the events of this past year, but maybe even how you view the events from the past for your entire life.

Is there a way to view the challenges placed in our lives differently?

I would answer, absolutely yes.

The ultimate freedom is that we get to assign the meaning and significance we assign to the events, situations, and circumstances of our life. And our perception and attitude determines how we feel, and the quality of our experiences on this path.

It’s often not what happens that causes us pain and suffering but how we interpret what happens.

Would you agree?

From this context, think about what you consider mistakes, rejection, or failure - what comes up for you?

We often associate these challenging concepts as a reflection of our self worth and the overwhelming emotions that follow maybe sadness, guilt, shame, anger, discouragement, or a sense of defeat.

How we’ve been taught to view mistakes, rejection, or failure can be disempowering and sometimes detrimental.

These things are not our enemies…

Even though, we sometimes see life happening to us, the reality maybe entirely different. Is it possible that everything that happens in our lives, including the things we call “negative” or “bad” are happening for us?

What if every mistake, rejection, and failure was simply pointing us towards our true destiny? Or towards our highest good and therefore an opportunity for learning and growth?

We’re often able to see this when we look back at events from our distant past. We can connect the dots once the intensity of the emotions associated with our experiences has dissipated and we can think more clearly.

Life is our most faithful teacher.

And mistakes, rejection, and failure can be our friends, guides, and allies, if we choose to look at them that way.

One example that most of us can relate to is a relationship that changes or ends. It could be a friendship, working relationship, or a romantic connection. Often we can look back and see that, at some point we realize this connection was not in alignment with who we truly are or our true path.

Sometimes we stay because of fear of the unknown, or because we truly do care. However, deep down we know this is not for our highest good or expression. Other times we know it’s something that’s actually hurtful and is harming us.

A wise teacher once said, “a relationship that ends is not a failure or punishment, it’s a lesson.”

What did you learn?

Many times we believe when something ends, it is the end of possibilities. But every mistake, rejection, and failure is an opening and a new beginning. When we let go of what’s no longer serving us, we’re invited to step deeper into who we truly are.

Many of the lives of the greatest people in history we revere has been preceded by multiple mistakes, rejections, and failures. Yet, each and every event was bringing them closer to their ultimate achievement.

We always see the finished, perfected, polished person at the end, but if we read their biography or hear their stories, it was filled with many challenges and devastating loss or failure.

Think of your favorite hero or heroine…

What do you admire about them? What was their story and path to success or enlightenment? What challenges did they have to overcome to get to where they are today?

Similarly, it’s the same for all of us.

Our task is to view our lives through the lens of gratitude, appreciation, and compassion. To know that it’s all a learning process and yes it’s not always easy. But we can accept what is and learn to work with it or we can buck the current.

It’s really up to us how we want to live our lives. I hope you’ll choose to be gentle with yourself in this process. As you look back on 2024, give yourself some credit just for going through everything you have and still choosing to keep going.

You did your very best and that is more than enough.

So, How was 2024 for you?

What were the lessons, the joys, the challenges, and learning? And in contemplating all of it, we have to do our best to maintain a neutral attitude. It’s not good or bad, it just is. And all of it has brought us to this moment.

Can you look at yourself and appreciate how far you’ve come?

Can you appreciate who you’ve become?

And knowing that there’s always more opportunities for learning as long as we’re alive. Then we can just start anew. Every moment is an opportunity to start, not just the new year.

Opportunities for growth never run out.

I believe we’re always guided and supported by seen and unseen forces.

In the end, it’s all happening for us, for our learning and growth. Some of life lessons and experiences are harsh and painful. Some may even feel meaningless. No doubt about it.

Yet, we get to decide how we view all of it. How we choose to see it. It’s up to us. I hope whatever happens, you adopt a way of viewing your life’s journey that translates to empowerment, joy, and peace of mind.

Wishing you a time of productive review, introspection, and contemplation.

You are exactly where you’re meant to be.

Please forward this information with anyone who you believe would benefit.

Feel free to leave me your questions, comments, and feedback below. Thank you for taking the time to visit here.

Until next time, we continue in solidarity. 

Neseret Bemient, BScN
Holistic Mental Health Coach 
Website: Return to Wholeness Healing Services
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@NeseretBemient
Twitter(X): Neseret Bemient (@JourneyofHope4U)

BIG DREAMS

...start inside
...take courage
...involve effort
...include mistakes
...build character
...are achievable

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~