Fears and Hopes

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. ~ Nelson Mandela ~

Dear friend,

It’s been an intense few weeks.

Heck, it’s been an intense year! This month marks an anniversary of several major changes, shifts, transitions, and transformation in different areas of my life.

As we are nearing the end of the year, I am feeling drawn to silence, solitude, contemplation, and reflection. I’m also getting over a cold, and I interpret that as my body’s way of letting me know the need for more rest and self care.

How are you doing?

How has the year unfolded for you in your journey of awakening?

I’ve come to believe that this whole process we call life is a journey of awakening to who we truly are.

It’s about overcoming our fears and choosing to hold on to hope despite challenging, and even terrifying experiences.

One of those experiences we go through in life is when we face imbalance in our own health or in the health of someone close to us. Whether it is of physical or mental health challenge, or a spiritual crisis, it’s still feels incredibly precarious and scary.

A year ago, I had just left my job,

a close family member was diagnosed with a life threatening illness and hospitalized, I was tapering off multiple psych drugs, and I moved and was apart from my daughter for the first time in 21 years.

Few months earlier I had also discovered news about a family member that brought me to my knees. It was a type of loss and grief I had never imagined was possible.

Needless to say, the past year has been a time of mourning and letting go of so much of what I thought was my identity, and my life. Things that have been an anchor in my life now seemed to no longer be part of the future. And the future was filled with a lot of uncertainty and the unknown.

It’s what you call, being in no man’s land…

Do you ever feel that way? Just stretched to the max and suspended between who you were, what was, and what’s yet unborn/to become?

This is the space where the fears and doubts arise. It’s the place where we face and battle our grief and pain. In some indigenous cultures it’s rightly named the death of the ego or a sort of psychological death.

In this space we are stripped of all that we are not and have to reevaluate everything we thought was real or true.

It’s the ultimate test.

Will we choose to remain or held hostage by our fears or do we choose to grieve our losses and still remain hopeful of better things to come? Isn’t that the only choice we get to make in this journey in every moment?

We really don’t have much control over anything else or anyone else.

If we get attached to what it has to look like, or what we think should have happened or how it’s suppose to happen, then we suffer.

Letting go is not easy.

But it is possible to surrender and trust. It is possible to choose hope, patience, and non-judgement.

Can we observe what’s happening in each moment within and around us without judgement? Without labeling it good or bad? Without labeling ourselves good or bad? Can we cultivate compassion within and without?

Right now, that’s what’s called for from each of us in our journey. It’s a time of great transitions and changes. It’s a time of awakening and transformation. It’s a time of letting go and becoming who we truly are.

What will we choose?

My wish for you is that you will lean more into your hope, and magnify your faith. That you will experience more peace, joy, and love.

But also be okay with those times when you are feeling sad, or angry, or hurt, or ashamed. No feeling is final or wrong. You can feel it and let it go.

That during those times when you’re feeling overwhelmed, that you’ll double down on your self care, self compassion, and all activities that bring soothing to your soul.

What are those things?

Is it a nature walk? Talking to a trusted friend? A nap? Bath? Writing? Drawing? What will bring you comfort in this moment? Right now? Go and do that.

Be kind to yourself.

You are bigger than whatever challenges you’re facing at the moment. You have come so far and you’ll go even further. You’re not alone.

I hope this message serves you today. I plan to continue with the weekly newsletter. And I’m glad that I was able to take some time off when I needed it.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I appreciate you.

Please forward this information with anyone who you believe would benefit.

Feel free to leave me your questions, comments, and feedback below. Thank you for taking the time to visit here.

Until next time, we continue in solidarity.